Well, if she was going to spend the rest of her days killing herself, that would at least keep her busy, Zak thought, watching War Scribe tackle Death again. Death was looking considerably less pleased at the prospect of having to return for War Scribe on a daily, perhaps hourly basis... "None of that," she said firmly. "You want to die, you better not be doing it yourself. I DO have other clients, you know...you'll have to wait your turn!" Seeing War Scribe's crestfallen look, she softened a little. "Now don't look at me like that, there's plenty of places for someone like you to hang around while you wait. Necropolis needs chroniclers, and they're simply crawling with corpses. There's plenty of wars going on even here in the Realm, including the big one about to happen at Yarfell..."
"A WAR!?! WITH DEATH AND KILLING AND MORE DEATH!?! OOOOOOOOOoooooo!!!" squealed War Scribe jumping up and down in anticipation of what was to come! "I just can't wait to see all of the bodies stacked up like cordwood! The funeral dirges! The open graves! The smell of decay in the air! It will be GLORIOUS!!!"
It was with such cheerful talk that Death accompanied them to the little chapel that Zak remembered from previous visits, though she lost all memory upon her revivals. She wasn't nearly as trepidacious about meeting her god, as she had a valid excuse for being there this time...
"I'll be back later. Honest," Death said, and promptly vanished before War Scribe could grab her again. Zak grabbed Scribe's arm and pulled her into the lovely towered library where her god awaited them.
"Unhand me, you little strumpet!" hissed War Scribe at Zakiyah, "Before I kick your sorry butt and rip your soul apart--piece by piece!"
"Oh, child...twice in once day...?" Validor, looking benign and sympathetic in his silver-haired old man form, was beaming at them both. "Take the rest of the day off, you've had an awfully rough time of it today. But I think you'll be pleased at what I have to tell you. Both of you. Ah--War Scribe, just the one I wanted to see!"
"ME!?!" squealed the Dark Elf Chronicler with a twisted grin on her face. "WOW!!! I didn't know I was so wanted!"
"...?!..." Zak was startled beyond words, and turned to stare at the Drow woman, who had turned to stare at the delightful scenes of carnage out one of the windows (There were more pleasant images, of course, but who cared about those?). "But....but...she...I...she just KILLED me! She's my nemesis!"
"Oh, but she's just perfect for the job. Take a look at her book, won't you?"
"What job...?" Zak asked suspiciously, but did as he bid. Though Scribe's real book was still lying with her body, or perhaps now traveling with Ral and Dawn, it was somehow here, as well. Zak read the accounts of the battle in the swamp in all their gory detail, as well as the fate of the Regulators and the history of the swamp. It was all there, intersperced with War Scribe's personal opinions about it all, which ranged from amused to totally psychotic. "You're not....You're not seriously thinking of giving her MY job, are You? My Father?" she added belatedly, remembering her place.
"Why not?!" Validor said happily. "Not YOUR job, of course-- you still have a pennance to work off, remember? But you still need help. She's perfectly suited for it. She's as intelligent as you are and twice as neutral, as keen to record history, and with a litle training will make a fine Lorekeeper indeed! And since you found her for Me, albeit inadvertantly, our earlier bargain still stands...her years become your years, you know. What could be better? Less of a load for you- I know how you hate recording battles and bloody betrayals...didn't you avoid the whole Cloud Bear genocide in favor of that silly wedding?"
"Cloud Bear genocide!?! You mean, the little furballs actually bought the farm!!!" said War Scribe almost to herself, "OOOOoooo!!! I wish I could've been around for that mass killing! Hmmm, I wonder if Venger's Orcs made a weiner roast out of them or decided to go with a backyard grill! I bet those Cloud Bears would've tasted awfully yummy basted in wyvern's blood! Ummm-Hmmm!"
"It was important," Zak mumbled, blushing. "The first alliance between--"
"Yes, yes....I think I've made My point. So it's settled, if she's willing. War Scribe? My dear, how would you like to work for Me...?" asked Validor kindly, "I assure you I'm a very undemanding sort of deity, as We go- I don't require any hymns or church visits or bloody sacrifices, just hard work. Your words shall be immortalized forever in my library, read by any who seek knowledge of the Realm. And there'll be plenty of danger and adventure in it, many opportunities to meet Death."
"REALLY!?!" squealed War Scribe enthusiastically, "YOU MEAN I GET TO MEET DEATH ALL THE TIME!?! COOL!!! WHERE DO I SIGN UP!?!"
"Which brings me to my only conditions: You cannot kill anyone, and that includes my other Lorekeeper here-- she's far too valuable and busy to spend all her time regenerating." added Validor.
"Awwww!!!" said War Scribe quite a bit disappointed at the prospect of being unable to kill Zakiyah anytime she liked. The Drow Chronicler earnestly believed that it might be necessary to keep Zakiyah in line by killing her every so often--just to let the silly girl know who was in charge!
"Gee...thanks..." Zak mumbled almost inaudibly, far from excited about this whole prospect....WHO was going to have to train this psyho? she thought unhappily.
Validor took no notice, other than to grin again. "And you cannot kill yourself, either. YOU shall be far too valuable to Me to spend all YOUR time regenerating. And Death is a busy entity herself, you know- make too much work for her and she'll start ignoring you. So what do you say? Try it for a year or two...? There will be other perks down the road...I've got a few tricks I give to my clerics, including a few I think you'd like..."
Thinking things over a little, War Scribe finally answered, "I'll do it, but only on one condition! If this tramp and I have to work together then I must be the Chief Chronicler and she must be my Assistant Chronicler! No if, ands or buts about out! So Validor, my future employer, what do you think? Do we have a deal or not?"
